


Wisdom (Or Lack Thereof)

by constantconfusion14



Series: MLB Oneshots [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien on drugs, Fanon Felix - Freeform, Felix as Chat Noir, Gen, Hot Mess Adrien Agreste, Mentions of Blood, One Shot, Protective Felix, Twin AU, accidental reveal, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24448288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constantconfusion14/pseuds/constantconfusion14
Summary: Adrien has his wisdom teeth removed and accidentally reveals himself to his brother whilst on drugs. Felix can't see any other options other than to step in for his twin during the ongoing akuma attack. What could possibly go wrong?
Series: MLB Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765765
Comments: 39
Kudos: 179





	Wisdom (Or Lack Thereof)

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: there are mentions of blood (due to the oral surgery) but it's not graphic and use of strong language.

“Shouldn’t he be awake by now?”

Felix looked down on his brother with disgust. Adrien sat unconscious in a wheelchair, his neck and head supported by a headrest. His cheeks were puffy from irritation and gauze and a decent amount of bloody drool dripped over his face and shirt. Even Nathalie grimaced slightly as she pushed him into Felix’s room.

Gabriel spoke from behind his assistant. “For some reason, Adrien was quite resistant to the anesthesia. So I had them increase the amount to more than they typically use. He’ll be fine under your observation for the next few hours.”

“ _P_ _ardon_ ?” What did father mean by _his_ observation?

“You’re in charge of watching Adrien until he wakes up. It won’t be difficult, just ensure his head stays up straight so he doesn’t choke. His gauze will need to be changed in about 10 minutes, so please do so. I know you’ve been through this before so it shouldn’t be difficult. I have work to do.”

And then he was gone. 

“Great,” Felix grumbled. Nathalie pushed Adrien in and with his brother’s help, gently picked him up and set him on the couch in a sitting position. His head was propped up slightly by pillows.

“Thank you Felix,” spoke the woman, turning to leave. “If either of you need anything, just call.”

And then she was gone.

“Super great.” He looked over his brother again, repulsed at the sight. Adrien’s typically semi-styled hair was a complete mess now and it hung about his head in disorder. The puffy cheeks only made the pathetic scene worse. He truly looked awful and Felix chuckled at his sibling. Oh, how the mighty fall. 

After about 30 minutes Felix finally worked up the courage to change the gauze. He laid his brother’s head back and forced his jaw open as Adrien _still_ wasn’t conscious. _Just how much anesthesia had they used??_ The inside of his mouth looked like a war zone. There was _so_ much blood and thick, mucus-y spit. It was horrendous. Nevertheless, he reached back and pulled out the four lumps of gauze, one by one. Each was promptly thrown in the garbage.

Immediately, the extraction points began to bleed again.

“Shit.” Luckily, Felix had had his own wisdom teeth taken out about a year before. He more or less knew what to expect and had more gauze at the ready. He quickly replaced the white pads and shut Adrien’s mouth after the bleeding slowed. Then he washed his hands. 

This was absolutely disgusting.

Sure, Felix had no plans for the rest of the day, but he certainly hadn’t signed up for babysitting duty. He’d purposely opted to not accompany his family to the oral surgeon so he wouldn’t have to help with his brother. But, of course, here he was anyway.

He sighed and sat on the other end of the sofa. If Adrien bled on this white couch, Felix was _not_ about to take responsibility. He’d blame it on his brother for needing twice the amount of drugs a normal person requires. Because _of course_ Adrien needed to be that extra when getting his wisdom teeth taken out. 

Felix sighed and turned on the television. Some documentary about the Soviet Union was on and he didn’t bother changing the channel. Instead, he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his social media for a while. He’d become engrossed in food videos and really wasn’t paying attention to the t.v. so it took him a while to notice the emergency banner flashing across the screen.

_Akuma Alert_. 

Of course there was. Honestly, Hawkmoth was overdue for an akuma as he hadn’t sent one out for a few days. But Felix was still annoyed by it. He hated akumas and he hated Hawkmoth for being responsible for them. Sure, Ladybug and Chat Noir always won in the end, but that didn’t change the fact that attacks still happened. 

Felix, Adrien and their school acquaintances had been in direct danger multiple times. The Agreste brothers especially were frequently targeted for who knows what reason and it had always bothered Felix. He just wanted to go through school like every other kid, graduate and move into the professional world without a hitch. 

But no. 

Superheroes and supervillains were altering the society they lived in. The tourism market was crashing, causing a large drop in the stability of Paris’s economy. The Gabriel Agreste fashion brand still thrived financially, but a failing economy was going to make it difficult to find jobs in a few years, right around the time Felix would be graduating from a university. 

He sighed and turned the channel to the news station. Nadja Chamack was reporting on the most recent attack. Felix increased the volume to hear the details.

“Ladybug is currently battling the akuma but appears to be struggling. Chat Noir has yet to show up. Clara is on the scene now. What’s going on over there?”

The screen changed to show the blonde field reporter standing a good distance away from the battle, but close enough to see the action.

“As you can see here, Nadja, this akuma seems to be snake-themed. I’m unsure how, but they’ve been able to turn civilians into snake creatures. They also appear to be firing some sort of venom at Ladybug, making it difficult for the heroine to get close.” Felix watched as Ladybug threw her yo-yo at the creature, wrapping it’s legs up in the string. 

“Gotcha!” she yelled triumphantly. But she was wrong. 

The akuma sprouted previously hidden wings from its back and took off from the ground at a neck breaking speed. The camera didn’t even catch Ladybug’s reaction before she was whipped out of the frame, being pulled behind the snake-thing.

“Oh! There’s been a change of location! We’re on our way to keep up with the action. Back to you, Nadja!”

A loud, screaming sound interrupted whatever Nadja had to say. Felix didn’t even have time to see if Adrien was the source of the noise before the snake-dragon thing zipped past his house, trailing a yelling Ladybug behind him. Felix would’ve laughed at the ridiculousness of it all had his brother not flown off the couch immediately after in a very unexpected movement. 

“Ladyuggh!” He practically screamed, swaying unsteadily on his feet. Felix physically grasped his chest to keep his heart from jumping out of his body. To say Adrien had scared him was an understatement. 

The twins made eye contact and Felix was surprised to see a mixture of fear, determination and anger plastered on his brother's face. Poor kid was still heavily under the effects of the sedation and probably had no clue what was going on. 

“Adri-” He began but was cut off. 

“Plaa, awws ouuww!” He punched the air in front of him, his speech greatly impeded by the gauze in his mouth. Before Felix had the chance to do anything, another voice spoke up.

“Adrien, nooooo!” A black...thing(?) was sucked into the silver ring on Adrien’s finger. A bright green light exploded around his brother and Felix shut his eyes to avoid going blind. When he opened them, he stared dumbfoundedly at Paris’s cat-hero, Chat Noir standing where his brother had just been.

“What the fu-” He didn’t finish his sentence as he watched Adrien-no, _Chat Noir_ , pull out his staff and try to extend it. The weapon extended right into his face and knocked the hero on the ground. That was definitely not good for the wisdom teeth holes. 

Felix shot to his feet and ran to his brother who was now sitting on the floor. “Feeyix!” He smiled happily as more blood trickled from in between his teeth. Oh, shit. He’d definitely reopened the wounds. Felix had to do something quickly otherwise father would kill him for not properly doing what he was supposed to. But, given the circumstances...was it totally his fault?

No. No it wasn’t.

He didn’t typically pay attention to the heroes, but Felix wasn’t stupid. He knew Chat Noir’s ring was the magic jewel or whatever they called it. Clearly, that _thing_ had gone into the ring to power the superhero. Logically...if he removed the ring Adrien would have to stop playing superhero, right? Without second guessing himself, Felix pulled the band off his brother’s finger.

Another blinding flash washed over Adrien, but this time the suit dissolved. The tiny black creature popped out of nowhere and landed on the blonde’s chest. Adrien fell from a sitting position to laying down completely on the floor. “Feeyix, NO!” he yelled. And then he started crying, curling in on himself and just completely collapsing into sobs. 

Felix felt bad, but decided he could deal with that later. He reached over and grabbed the small black...cat? “You’re going to tell me what’s going on and you’re going to tell me now.”

The cat-thing looked at him through squinted eyes before finally giving in. “Your brother is Chat Noir, I’m the thing that gives him his powers. Ladybug needs her partner right now and Adrien is clearly upset that he can’t be there. Any questions?”

This little thing had quite the attitude. 

Felix opened his mouth to begin the barrage of questions but he stopped when something grabbed his arm. The tiny black creature took the opportunity to fly out of his captor’s hands and away to safer grounds. Felix looked down and saw Adrien desperately grabbing at him, reaching for the black ring. His brother was practically screaming through his sobs for the small item and either father or Nathalie would definitely be bound to hear it. 

“Shhh, shhh, Adrien! Be quiet unless you want the whole world to know your secret!” Felix whisper-yelled at him.

Adrien did not stop. The scene reminded Felix of that creature from that series he’d watched as a kid about that special ring and it’s addictive properties. He half expected his brother to start screaming “my precious!” as he frantically grabbed for the silver band. 

“Ladybug needs his help and he’s not going to stop until he’s able to get to her. Even drugged up, this kid’s very protective over his lady.” Felix whipped his head around to the floating cat who was now eating...was that cheese? “Either you give him the ring back or you’re going to be in huge trouble for letting him reopen the things in his mouth.”

Felix knew the weird thing was right. He would be in for a world of hurt if Nathalie or his father came up and saw Adrien bleeding from his wounds again. But there was no way he was giving this ring back. There was no way his brother would be any sort of help in a battle in his current condition. Heavily drugged up bleeding? Yeah, that would go over well.

Adrien’s hand shot up again, reaching for his ring. “FEEYIX!”

“You’re so screwed, kid” came the creature’s voice.

“GIVE!”

“It’s only a matter of time before the old man finds out what’s going on and you take aaallll the blame”  
  
“Stop!” Felix’s voice broke through the other two in the room with such ferocity that they both shut up for a second. He had to stop the chaos somehow. It was way too much for him to handle at the moment. So he planned on going with the only semi-sensible plan he could think of. 

“I’m going for you.” He slipped the ring over his finger. Clearly, there was no other option. If Ladybug needed help, then she’d get it. But not from Adrien. “Now...how do I become Chat Noir?”

The cat looked at him for a second, but then smiled mischievously. “Just say ‘Plagg, Claws Out.’ Your ability is Cataclysm, which allows you to destroy anything you touch. Activate it just by saying it, but you’ll only get one go. Once you call for it, you have five minutes before you transform back. No matter what, don’t tell anyone who you are. Don’t even let Ladybug know you’re not the usual Chat Noir. Other than that, you can figure out the rest on the job.

Well, the game seemed simple enough. _Let’s get this over with_.

“Fine then. Plagg, Claws Out.” The green light washed over Felix this time and he felt an immense boost in his strength and senses. Everything became sharper, the sounds around him, the metallic smell of his brother, the view of the room they were sitting in. Felix looked down at himself and saw that he was dressed in an identical costume to the usual Chat Noir save for two things. The obnoxious bell was missing and the color of the suit was more gray that black. He supposed that fit him. 

Adrien, who still laid on the floor, thoroughly shocked and confused at the scene in front of him. “Cha N-Noir...? Buu I’m Cha Noir...” He had absolutely no idea what was happening. Felix leaned over and picked him up, gently putting him back on the couch.

“Adrien, stay here. I’ll be back soon and then I’ll give you your ring back. If father or Nathalie comes in, tell them I’m in the bathroom or something, okay? Whatever you do, don’t move.” There was no response as Adrien just stared, trying to comprehend what he was looking at. 

Felix felt the staff resting on the small of his back and pulled it out. He pushed a button and it extended to about his height. 

“Alright. Let’s see just how terribly this can go.”

**************

It was relatively easy to find Ladybug thanks to the screaming of all the civilians. The heroine was perched atop a nearby roof, concentrated on her yo-yo. Felix had heard the staff ‘ringing’ for the past few minutes but had no idea how to answer it, so he didn’t. He just needed to focus on one thing at a time.

He landed horribly on the roof after vaulting himself over an alley and rolled for a bit before being able to stop. Ladybug turned around out of surprise and he saw her eyes widen when she looked at him. Felix quickly got to his feet. If only he’d watched more videos on Alya’s weird blog to know how the heroes interacted with each other. 

Luckily, Chat Noir was his brother, and Felix had mastered impressions of his twin. 

“Miss Ladybug! Good to see you. I hope you’re doing well. What can I do to help today?” Overly polite and very amicable. There was no way she’d be able to see through him. The added bonus of being an identical twin? He might as well be the actual Chat Noir. No one would notice.

Ladybug threw herself at him and pinned him to the rooftop, a deadly calm look in her eyes. Despite her messy, dusty hair and the minor scratches on her face, she looked terrifying. Her heavy breathing only worked to intimidate him more. “Who are you and what did you do to Chat?”

Well, shit. That hadn’t gone as well as he’d expected. Felix immediately dropped all attempts at acting like his brother. 

“Wait, wait, wait. Let me explain before you get all murderous on me. I’m here to help you, not attack you. Jesus Christ.”

Confusion replaced Ladybug’s anger and she let up a little. Felix pushed her off of him and got to his feet. He glared at her, not impressed _at all_ with her lack of professionalism. But he did respect her strength. Figuring it best to come off as non-threatening, he held out his hand to her. 

“Nice to meet you. I’m Feeeee- Chat Noir’s brother.” Well, he almost blew it already.

“Chat has a brother?”

“Twin brother, actually.” Sure, she wasn’t supposed to know but the whole ‘hiding the truth plan’ had already flown out the window at mach 5. 

“ _What?_ ” Another emotion dawned on her face suddenly. “And he told you his secret identity??” Oh, this girl was fierce. 

“Look, I’m not thrilled about it either. He’s on heavy drugs and accidentally revealed who he was. Thankfully I was the only one to see. Now, are we done with the questions? I have to get back and make sure my brother doesn’t choke on his own spit.” Adrien really did need to be watched and it was slightly worrisome that he was alone at the moment. 

“No, the questions are done when I say they’re done.” She adjusted her stance and placed her arms across her chest, clearly not trusting the stranger in front of her. “What’s wrong with the real Chat Noir? Why can’t he be here?” 

“I’m not going to answer that because the floating cat thing told me to keep all personal information to myself. Now suck it up and accept my help.”

“Do you mean Plagg?” she countered.

“I really didn’t care to find out its name. All I know is that I had to come in place of my brother or he was going to end up getting himself killed by trying to come on his own. Now, can we please get this over with??” Felix rolled his eyes and exhaled loudly with frustration. Hopefully she’d get the message. 

“You said you two are twins?” She eyed him suspiciously. 

“Identical. Yes.”

“Well you certainly don’t act like each other.”

“Personalities don’t come programmed in our DNA, doll.” Two could play at this game.

Ladybug scoffed but then took a step forward, dropping her arms to her sides and squaring her shoulders. She came up uncomfortably close to Felix so that he could feel her breath on his face. “Don’t you ever call me doll again.”

He gave no response except a nod. 

Ladybug eyed him again before speaking. “Ok. I’ll believe you for now, but only because you’re a douche and you’re clearly not trying to gain my trust. The villain is named Serpentine. I have no idea what happened or where the akumatized object is, so we’ll have to figure it out. Watch out for the beams they shoot from their hands as well as the venom they spit. You’ll be incapacitated if you’re hit by either.” 

She pulled something off her waist and held it up to him. “My Lucky Charm is this _Gabriel Agreste_ clothing magazine, but I have no idea how to use it. Did Plagg explain Cataclysm to you?”

He looked at the magazine she showed him. Through the red and black spots, he could see himself and Adrien posed on the front cover. He remembered that photo shoot and how much he’d hated it, but how the hell was that supposed to help them win the battle? This was all too much to take in. Felix was regretting his plan to come out and play hero. He knew far too little about the situation to get involved. 

“Yeah, but that was pretty much all the cat explained. What else do I need to know?” 

“Just trust me and do as I say. Everything will go according to plan. Right now, we need to figure out where the akuma is hiding. Just make sure not to get hit.” She winked at him and jumped off the roof, flying into battle. 

Felix just stared incredulously at the spot where she once stood. “Oh, yeah. Thanks Ladybug. You’re such a hero. Such a help to the new guy who has no idea _what’s going on!_ ” He yelled the last part but was only met with sounds of battle from the street. 

He rubbed his face aggressively, contemplating what to do. The easiest option would be to just leave, and he was really tempted to do so. It would serve her right, treating a volunteer hero so condescendingly. But, she was counting on him. Despite the negative first impression she gave him, Felix knew she wasn’t the enemy. If Ladybug got severely hurt or worse, then Hawkmoth could take advantage of the city’s weakness. Especially now with the real Chat Noir out of commission...that would be a death sentence for Paris.

There was only one decent option for him to choose and unfortunately, it was his least favorite. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was about to do. 

“Okayokayokay. Here we go. One...” he breathed in. “Two...” he breathed out. “Three!” 

And he jumped off the roof, screaming as he angled his body to try and hit the freaky snake thing beneath him. To his absolute shock, the plan actually worked and his foot collided with its head. The sound was not a satisfying crack, but more of a _shlop_ and the akuma went reeling in the other direction. Maybe all those years of forced martial arts lessons weren’t for naught. 

But just as quickly as it took the hit, it recovered. Serpentine lifted it’s arm, palm facing directly towards Felix. There was no way he could block this shot. 

“Look out, Chat!” Felix felt a weight slam into him that sent him flying across the gravel of the road. Once he stopped rolling, he opened his eyes to once again see Ladybug on top of him. He verbally winced at the awkwardness of the position.

Being a superhero was really uncomfortable. 

She pulled herself up quickly. “Sorry! It was about to hit you with its venom. Are you okay? Good stunt back there, by the way.” She offered her hand but Felix pushed himself up on his own. 

“Fine. Thanks. Did you find the object thingy?” He looked back at the akuma, about 100 meters away from them. _Damn, they’d rolled far_. Luckily, it wasn’t paying attention to the heroes anymore and went back to spitting its acid venom at street lamps and buildings, causing them to erode and collapse. 

“Not yet. You didn’t give me much time to look for it, Chat” The sass was back in her voice. This was not going to be a productive partnership. 

“My name’s not Chat.”

“Fine then, I’ll call you Gris. You could at least be a little nicer to me seeing as I just saved your life.” 

Felix was having none of this. “Oh! Excuse me for not knowing what the _hell_ I’m supposed to be doing! You could’ve given me a bit more instruction before expecting me to charge into a deadly fight! How my brother tolerates this nonsense on a daily basis is beyond me.”

Ladybug looked like she was about to spit venom of her own before a voice cut her off. Both heroes looked towards the new noise.

About 90 meters from them, a small, swaying figure screamed, “I’m CHA NOIR!” at the akuma and charged with nothing more than a broom to attack. 

“Oh, shit,” both heroes spoke in unison and sprinted towards the delusional civilian. Ladybug, having much more experience, got there first. She scooped up the boy just before he was hit by a beam of light. Felix followed the pair up onto another rooftop, out of danger. As soon as he got a closer look at the person, he recognized who he was.

“Adrien??” How the hell had he gotten out of the mansion without anyone noticing?

His twin brother looked up at him, placing his index finger on his mouth. “SHHHHHHhhhhh. Don’ saay it ou loud. I’m Cha Noir righ noww” He tried to wink at Felix but failed miserably. His face was even more swollen than it was when Felix left, which told him either the inflammation was starting to set in or something was wrong with the extraction sights. Blood still pooled out of his mouth and drooled on to his shirt. An increased heart rate mixed with four wounds that had yet to clot themselves closed? Not a good combination. On top of it all, it seemed like Adrien had tried to put together a last-minute cosplay of himself but failed miserably.   
  
“Are you serious right now? You think putting on a black shirt and rubbing eye makeup all over your face is going to cover up your identity? I swear to the highest god, I’m going to kill you if you don’t kill yourself first.”

“Gris! He’s an innocent civilian who was clearly injured by Serpentine. He needs help. Take him somewhere safe while I deal with the akuma. Come back as soon as you can, okay?” The use of the new name surprised him for a second, but it was impossible to fully suppress Felix’s anger at his brother.  
  
“He’s not an innocent, injured civilian! He’s an absolute moron! Don’t treat him with sympathy. He put himself in this situation.”

Ladybug had been about to jump back into battle when she suddenly whipped around to look at her temporary partner. “Don’t you _dare_ talk about Adrien that way.” Her voice was dark and threatening. 

Felix only chuckled. “Ohh, hit a nerve, did I? What, does the bug have a sweet spot for supermodel Adrien Agreste? How cliche.”

Ladybug was about to throw hands but was once again stopped by Adrien’s muffled speech. 

“Feeyix! Ifv Laaybuggh sayss be nice to me, den be nicee.” Another smirk graced his face. Even on drugs, he knew the sweet feeling of winning an argument with your sibling because an authority figure supported you over them. 

“Adrien? Shut. Up.”

“I’mm no’ Adrrrien,” he somehow managed to pull himself to a standing position and threw his arms in the air. “I’m CHA NOIR!” 

Before anyone could react, he tried to use his broomstick to vault himself off the roof and back into battle. Obviously, it didn’t work and he plummeted towards cement. Felix moved with cat-like reflexes and jumped after Adrien. He caught up with him instantly and grabbed him around the waist, wrapping his body around his brother’s right before they hit the ground. The cement cracked and vibrations shot through his body.

That _hurt_. 

The wind was knocked out of Felix and he gasped for a few moments before being able to breath again. In his peripherals, he saw Ladybug land in front of them and spin her yo-yo, deflecting any shots from Serpentine. 

“You..fucking... _IDIOT!_ ” Felix managed to gasp out at the body on top of him. Adrien rolled off after a few seconds and crouched on all fours on the ground, trying to catch his own breath.

“I don’t know what is going on between you two, but I need to get you to safety. I can handle this akuma on my own.”

“No, m’laa’y. I’ll pro’ec’ you!” Adrien once again got to his feet, picking up his broom as he did so, and charged the akuma. Felix wanted to scream in frustration. After a double dose of sedative most people wouldn’t have been able to get up off the couch, much less battle a supervillain. Some of the magic must have fused with Adrien’s DNA because there was no explanation for how he found the strength to run at Serpentine. 

“No!” Ladybug shouted and ran after him. Felix pulled himself up from the ground, just now noticing the decent sized dent he’s made in the pavement with his back. _Ouch_. Remarkably, he was okay though. His attention quickly shifted to the scene above him though and he felt his heart stop beating for a second. He could only watch in horror as Adrien neared the akuma and weakly threw his broom at it. 

Apparently even Serpentine was surprised at the teen’s resilience because they didn’t even try to block the hit. The broom struck them right in the eye and the akuma screamed in pain, dropping to the ground, clutching their face. A small, black butterfly emerged from their hands and flew towards the sky. 

Ladybug didn’t react for a second. She just stood there, gaping at the events that had just unfolded before her. 

Serpentine was defeated...by a broom?

Adrien turned around, smiling triumphantly. “...’ime to de-evilize!” he yelled, throwing his arm up towards the butterfly. 

Ladybug eventually found her limbs and did as he said, but her usual phrases didn’t accompany the actions. Felix walked up next to her, still staring in awe at his drugged-up brother who’d just _defeated an akuma_ on his own. 

The spotted heroine pulled the useless magazine off her waist and stared at the cover for a second. 

_Felix and Adrien Agreste: The Unstoppable Modeling Team_ the title read. They were posed back to back, staring at the camera. Adrien had a confident smirk on his face and Felix looked deadly serious. That picture pretty much summed up their personalities.

Ladybug looked at the cover, then her eyes shot to Adrien. She looked back down at the picture, then her eyes shot to Felix. 

Oh, shit. 

She’d figured it out. 

“Pound id!” Adrien extended one fist towards her and another fist towards his brother.

Felix weakly returned the gesture. “Come on, Adrien. Let’s get you back to your house.” He wrapped his arm around his brother’s shoulders and began ushering him away from Ladybug, who was still frozen in her revelation. He picked up Adrien and vaulted over the nearest building, then ran over a few Parisian roofs towards their mansion. A swarm of ladybugs brushed over him and his brother as well as the rest of the city before disappearing again. Felix glanced down at Adrien. Surprisingly, he looked a little better. 

Chat Gris landed in his room and set his brother back down on the couch. He then grabbed the ring and pulled it off his finger. The sudden decrease in energy didn’t hurt, but it definitely didn’t feel good. Felix stumbled for a second and put his arm on the couch for support. 

“Geez, kid. You didn’t have to forcefully take the miraculous off. You could’ve just spoken the transformation words.”

“Well, I would’ve known that if you’d told me them in the first place.”

“Hey, what’s got you so worked up? You won, didn’t you?”

The teen only glared back at the creature before turning towards the bathroom. Once he’d washed his hands, he gathered more gauze and returned to his brother. He slipped the now-silver ring on Adrien’s finger and he visibly relaxed. The ring really was _his precious_ , wasn’t it?

A soft thud sounded from behind him. Felix jumped to a standing position and Adrien pushed himself to the edge of the couch. Ladybug stood there, looking at both of them like a deer in the headlights. 

“Y-you’re Felix? And Gris?” She pointed a shaking finger at him. He nodded slowly. 

“Which means he’s...” she gestured to Adrien, who sported a dopey grin.

“Ladyugg, I looooveeee youuuu!” More bloody drool dribbled down his chin and on to his clothes. 

“Oh, god. That’s embarrassing.” Felix muttered from beside him.

“Wha-what happened?” Ladybug still looked shocked, but a little more put together than she had after the revelation. 

“He got his wisdom teeth removed. Unfortunately, with those teeth went any sense of wisdom he had to begin with.” Felix sighed and looked back at his pathetic twin. He used a towel to wipe off the spit and blood and pushed his brother back against the couch. “Open your mouth, Adrien.”

“You o’en oor ouf“ (you open your mouth!) he tried to say as Felix forced his jaw again. He worked quickly, throwing the nasty gauze out and replacing it with fresh stuff. Adrien whined a little, but he didn’t resist the help.

He spoke to Ladybug without looking at her. “Sorry today was such a disaster. I assure you, it was not my intention to play superhero.” Though the akuma had been defeated, everything else was a mess. He was sure there would be consequences for trying to be a superhero he wasn’t and accidentally revealing both his and his brother’s secret identities. He braced himself for the definite lecture Ladybug was about to deliver him. But it never came.

Laughter. That’s all he heard from her.

He whipped around to see Paris’s strongest heroine bent over in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. One arm was wrapped around her midsection and the other was covering her mouth in an attempt to stifle the giggles. It wasn’t working very well. 

After a few moments she finally pulled herself back together. “Oh, sweet kwami. I’m sorry. This is just all too much. The akuma was hidden in Serpentine’s _contact lens_ e _!_ Apparently, he’d worn dragon-eye contacts to school and everyone bullied him. Poor kid.” She looked to the side for a moment in disbelief before turning back to the twins.

“Hawkmoth must’ve had a stroke of genius! I never would’ve found it, if this one,” she pointed to Adrien, “hadn’t thrown that stupid broom stick of his.”

Adrien’s head was still flopped back against the top of the couch, but he recognized the compliment. He made a poor attempt at making a clicking sound and made finger guns into the air. Felix couldn’t help but chuckle at the ridiculousness of the entire day. He might’ve hated every bit of it, but if what people said was true and Hawkmoth was able to watch the fight through his akuma’s eyes, then Felix figured it was completely worth it.

Being taken down by a drugged teenager with no armor who wielded only a broom? Now _that_ was pathetic. 

*************

Directly above the teens, Hawkmoth stood in his lair. He remained completely motionless save for a slight twitch in his right eye. 

He’d thought he’d done it. He’d found the perfect place to hide an akuma. One Ladybug and Chat Noir would never find and thus never break. He’d created an unstoppable villain. 

But somehow, he’d lost.

Not only had his perfect plan been foiled, it had been foiled by a teenager. By his _son_ . By his teenage son who was _high on drugs._

He stood there for a while, unmoving, stupefied at his unthinkable loss. In those moments, he vowed to never underestimate his son again. 

Because Adrien Agreste was truly someone to be feared.

**Author's Note:**

> I...I think I love Felix (fanon Felix, not cannon Felix 'cause he's an asshole). I know some of the affects of the anesthesia were probably stretched a little, but it's just a fun fic so I didn't aim as high for accuracy. As always, thank you so much for reading!


End file.
